A Quiet Roar

Silence.

Does it even truly exist?

I sit here listening for the noiseless vacuum that must follow in your absence. I cannot hear it. It is overridden by the pulsing of blood through my veins. A throbbing of need for things unknown… unnamed. A cry that needs no vocal accompaniment.

Silence.

Do you think I do not hear you?

You scream with your lack of words. It reverberates through my soul. It rattles my spirit and shatters my heart without a sound. It is louder than mere phonemes strung together…shouts of meaning without sound waves.

Silence. Blessed. Blissful. Lost.

At the Edge

A sheen of cool, damp morning air settles upon my skin. It reminds me that I can feel. It echoes the fear that dwells just below the surface today. A fear I am trying so hard to ignore. I have stood here before…watching the ground crumble beneath my feet…praying for its resolidification…waiting for the inevitable plunge into nothingness.

I think if I look deep enough inside myself. If I find something special within me…it won’t matter. I will become weightless. I will float and never fall. I search frantically for that which will save myself feeling desperation replace fear.

That’s where I find it. It had nothing to do with me.

I’m not afraid anymore.

Wishing Well

You trip into my presence with your three little letters. Apologies. Awkwardness. Laughter. One sentence spills over into another until a steady stream of thoughts begins to flow. It bends around silence. Leaps playfully over the past. Roars into a frothy, joyous finish.

We spill into the quiet pool below as waves of …regret …uncertainty …loss lap around us. We swim quietly to the edge of what was and leave its cold warmth behind. I start to walk away…but I turn instead. I see us reflected within its cloudy blue surface. For a second, the need to return to its embrace is almost greater than the power of reason.

But I hesitate for a second. A large rock plops into the midst of us, shattering the fantasy into a million droplets of pain. I look up and he stands there. He silently lofts another rock into his hand and grins.

“I waited.”

Mourning Time

I let my finger glide across the surface of this frosty pane. It slides into lines and loops. Forming the letters of your name before my eyes. It is evidence of your presence in my life. Your impact on my thoughts. In the clock of life, you were here for just a second. But in my heart, you are eternal.

There are instances in life when time seems too cruel. It plays with our dreams. Restricting them. Containing them. Controlling them. When I want to wake up from the nightmare I have fallen into, the blackness seems to wind into forever. When I would choose to remain wrapped within the warm perfection of sleeping hours, daylight breaks through… as dew drops dismiss your name.

I know you were here. Time may remove the evidence from all but my heart and these quickly formed letters…etching you into the path of life.

Haunting Lullaby

There is on the sigh of the night a whisper of a cry.

I strain to hear more. I weep softly at the silence of hope that follows.

Yet in the dimmest portion of the sky there is still the slimmest sliver of light. Would that light abandon us? Should it not grow brighter?

We stare at it imagining a gentle waiver in intensity with every heartbeat. Is it fading or growing stronger? Does it pulse to your eyes? Through your blood? Can I change it through the strength of my will? Can I want joy into being?

I am but a fool. I could not see joy existed already. My eyes were so fixed upon their mark, that I missed the flicker of it. It danced across the universe briefly in a world-shattering crescendo of glee.

There is on the sigh of the night an echo of music not yet complete. I hold my breath and pray for the melody to continue.

Weighs and Mean

Wrong? Or right? The scale teeters back and forth uncertainly.

A voice spoke. You decided it was God and not your own foolish inner voices.

A heart broke. Someone’s had to.

Is He still speaking?

Is it still breaking?

The scale trembles to a halt. Equally balanced… and then splits in half.

As each side lies useless and broken, it knows it was closer to perfection.